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Rejection Issues
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Question:
Rejection Issues
We are just curious as to why so many people, when rejected, resort to abusive behavior. People that do not bother themselves to read profiles (and if they had they might see that they don't fit that person's/persons' criteria) then send a message and are summarily rejected, then they get all defensive and start name calling and such. What is up with that? Just because you may be interested in someone does not oblige that person to have to accept you. Here's one extreme example: Some friends went out with another couple they met on a site. They just wanted to meet in person to find out if they clicked. They didn't. The man from the other couple was demanding, dominating, and very rude. They told them they just weren't into that sort of thing. The man, being rejected, proceeded to verbally assault them. He began sending multiple nasty messages and called them various horrible things. All because he was POLITELY turned down due to his behavior. We have encountered this many times and just don't understand people's mentality. We are all here for fun, and most of us do have criteria that we feel must be met in order to be attracted to someone, to feel safe, to completely enjoy ourselves. I would like other's thoughts on this very nasty little issue. |
Answers:
RE: Rejection Issues
Ita unfortunate, but those type of dip%$#@s are in this lifestyle. Just tr your best to ignore them, ban them from your contact ablity, ect. Continur to meet others who are more our type, ect. |
RE: Rejection Issues
DONT BE DISCOURAGED KEEP MOVING ON THERE NEVER SEEMS TO BE A SHORTAGE OF ASSHOLES UNFORTUNATLY |
RE: Rejection Issues
That is for sure! This particular a$$hole somehow hacked my privacy list and added himself to my "allow all access regardless of settings" list!Unblocked himself! How do we handle such invasion? I reported him, but since he is a paid member, my report went nowhere. I am livid! About to cancel this site completely if the safety of the members is so carelessly regarded. What do we do? |
RE: Rejection Issues
We were pretty lucky, we have only rejected one person, but this was after we played. We clicked prior and he was a great guy, but the chemistry just didnt work. He sent us an email saying what a great time he had. We struggled with the choice of just putting him off, lying, or never respond - we decided honesty and told him we had fun, but it just didnt click to have repeat encounters - he took it in stride and thanked us for being up front.
Conversly, we appreciate those that have the decency to be up front with us - cant imagine what goes through the minds of those that just cant deal with it. |
RE: Rejection Issues
We had an experience like the cpl you are talking about. Things were going great, we thought all was good. We all got along, then when it came down to getting frisky, she was all for it! He was at first, then he told her they needed to go. She didn't want to & resisted to go. He got verbal with her....Clark wouldn't put up with that & spoke his mind, telling him,"Chill out Dude. It's alright." He didn't like that & started running his mouth.
We had talked to them several times before meeting them. So even after discussing what we all wanted out of this meeting, there are still jerks out there....we are guessing they didn't comminucate with each other. xoxo Shirley |
RE: Rejection Issues
Well unfortunately there are MORONS and then there are true lifestyle swingers. Those who are true swingers understand the lifestyle and how it works so to speak and are not affected by refusals or turn downs. True swingers also know this lifestyle is about all being comfortable and having fun.
Safety always has to be #1, feel those who hack like that should be kicked off the site paid or not, unfortunately most will just create a new profile and be back.
Be nice if we could brand or mark the assholes so others would know but we just can't do that.
Dave |
RE: Rejection Issues
Thank you so much for your replies, it's nice to know that there are real people out there looking for real and safe fun and not just a bunch of creeps. wish there WAS some way to brand these dangerous individuals. |
RE: Rejection Issues
Hey there Sweeties, so sorry y'all have had to deal with such morons. I would continue to contact the ST staff demanding resolution concerning the hacker, a paying member or not this cannot be tolerated.
Feel free to post the username here, I am not, never have been and never will be an advocate of demeaning anyone but in this instance it's for the safety of all of us!
Take care Sweetie pies and please hang in there with us, don't leave as it would be a shame to lose such lifestyle minded friends!!
Smooches,
Gin |
RE: Rejection Issues
WE run into the issue of being turned down because we arent Ken and Barbie And we get the "wow your hot do you play with out him?" or "we like you but we are not interested in a bigger guys". It donr really bother us WE dont understand why people would turn so Hateful because there wasnt a complete attraction. Just move on what fun is the lifestyle if every1 involved isnt Having fun? |
RE: Rejection Issues
You know,
I think it boils down to the individuals not actually reading the profiles. If they are that is really scary, no joke. Its the ego as well, life is a beach and too many people think its about themselves. We r a community. |
RE: Rejection Issues
My g/f and I both agree with this issue I been turned down so many times because of my looks but everyony gets turned sooner or later. I take the good with the bad! But I never did what this person did I wished people would read peoples profile before the name calling can begin. Thanks for thr trend! |
RE: Rejection Issues
No time for mean people. When I was an Army Ranger I was a real a'hole! But I had to be. Now I'm probably the nicest person you'll ever meet, because I want to be:) |
RE: Rejection Issues
Personally we don't feel it's about reading or not reading profiles as much as they think because we are involved in this lifestyle that we are whores or something and at the whim of anyone who wants us. THEY JUST DON"T GET IT |
RE: Rejection Issues
I certainly agree with you on this issue. I dont like people that do that. The one thing that gets me with a lot of people is that when you send an email. You should get one back. even if it was to say im not interested. I think its just rude not to atleast give them that much. But thats just me I guess. |
RE: Rejection Issues
wow this is tough issue but it is also the reason we left the site for a little while because of someone and their rude comments we are a lifetime member of this site and regardles if iam a lifetime member,paid member or a free member i try to trat people the same way i want to be treated and when this person done this to you they should have been banned for life or atleast for 30 days until it could be taken care of.. we have realy missed being on here and we realy the people that have meet on here. and we are glad to be back we will give out their user name because this was a problem that they had with us because we are a cpl and only meet together and that upset them. we haven't been on chat for awhile but are slowly working our way back to that i no longer see their profile on here but ho knows if they are still out there or not. but what i would like to say the ones that this happens to is stay on here with thoes of us realy care if need help thats what we are here for i look at this place as home with benifits not everyone is perfect but there is some of us who care this place and all these people have helped in more ones then anyone can imagine we finaly feel like we found a place that we belong to and we are not giving it up.. so stay stong and by all means please ask and respond to others if you have questions or answers and all i can say is 99.9% of the people we have meet or talked to here are wonderful people and will try to help either by suggestions or other ways to help or answer your question i just want to say we honerd to be a part of this group,or place , or site , or as we think of it here a family of friends like the ones on here. |
RE: Rejection Issues
Yes, we agree, this is a community of friends! We have no tolerance for that behavior! We will not be rude to anyone, unless you cross the line, then, it's on :corpwench: I won't be disrespected by anyone! Dayum, guess I GREW BALLS!! lol xoxo Shirley |
RE: Rejection Issues
We had an experience that was kind of different with a young gentleman once. Things were pretty decent and moved quite quickly, then afterwords he ducked and dodged rather than tell us outright he didn't want to play with us anymore. When my wife was concerned about him because the excuses he used led us to believe he was having financial difficulty, and he never got on line or returned texts and his cell would go immediately to voice message. Finally out of concern since it was near the holidays, she went to we went to see him at his work to see if he was ok. She talked to him briefly in the parking lot and he said he had to clock in so she said we needed to get some things anyway. We did our shopping, and she went to talk to him at which point he finally fessed he didn't want to play with us anymore. Well we took it in stride and left. Then later more drama where he first talked nicely about us then in less than 24 hours he slammed us and talked negatively about my wife. I can tell you from our experience that he was warned and we have had no more problems from him. Sadly some people will be a waste of time. Luckily others will turn out to be a treasure, but I want to tell you that even though that was a bad experience here, we had a great time with other people and that there are some really nice people here as well. |
RE: Rejection Issues
Let's face it, we need to be extra careful. We are opening ourselves out there. It's better to identify these characters early on and it hurts to be called a nasty name after you politely declined their advancement. It happens here, in a bar, in a club. |
RE: Rejection Issues
Always good reading, thanks to those who post their experiences. We meet a couple for dinner with the clear statement of no play as is our first date policy. They were very different than the pics they posted in age, looks, weight etc...we stayed anyways as always happy to make friends. The lady proceeded to get drunk and loud making her interest in me well known infront of a family with a child. She then touched me under the table, we bowed out as quickly and politely as possible however they continued to try to instant message with us on here. I then sent a polite email stating we weren't interested in pursuing things further and they should move on. Things were quiet for awhile then started again, I have now blocked them. After the block they texted me. I have not responded and am hoping that I do not have to change my cell because of it. |
RE: Rejection Issues
Well, a site where people consider engaging in sex must attract lots of people who aren't actually experienced in the lifestyle. I'm an example - no experience, but here to learn and to think about this and what it is that I want.
Some of those people are struggling with their internal demons and may have rage or control issues that come out when they play. If playing with others hits too close to a nerve, they could react to that instead of interacting with the people they meet. If a guy has issues with women or a bad history of rejection, a "no" could be a real hot trigger.
Similarly if someone is unsure yet plugs along doggedly, the anxiety or fear related to unfinished business may surface in an awkward way.
Some people are socially myopic; although they can preach about tolerance, flexibility and respect, they miss that "no" still means "NO" when it is said to [i]them.[/i] |
RE: Rejection Issues
We have recently been turned down by a single male for me (ms) it was a bit hurtful cause I guess we didn't expect to be turned down, But thats part of the L/S. Although am I the only one who wonders the reason? We have also been put off by another couple only to find out that the only reason why was because of my S/O That also upset me as well they didn't even meet to get to know us as a couple. Should I expect more of these issues as we go on and is it wrong to wonder why? |
RE: Rejection Issues
First thing for most is a visual/physical attraction, this upsets some but it is just a part of life. Each person has their own idea of sexy. It can be very difficult to find another couple where you are all attracted to each other, more often than not only half the party gives the go ahead so no play should happen. Patience is the key. In time you will find the right fit. |
RE: Rejection Issues
assholes are like toilets every town has a least one thats to bad people are like that |
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