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I know this happens to some of us what is your suggestion?

Question:

I know this happens to some of us what is your suggestion?

Ok, here's the situation...

You and your swing partner are established in this one group and have made quite a few friends and visit often. You have noticed that one time while you are playing one of your friends partners does something rather peculiar and awkward as he approaches others while they are playing and interjects himself into their playtime by fingering someone as they play and not paying attention to everything going on around them. This half has never been seen playing with his partner, always making sure she is distracted in other areas before finding his target. Even more convenient, he has been known to carry his own bottle of lube so that he has an easy time with inserting his finger into whoever seems to be available.
Personally I would shut the door for private time, but sometimes there is an open door and that invites this type of situation... so how do you protect yourself from this type of person? Do you have any suggestions to others here who have run into the occasional weirdo in a party atmosphere?

Sharon

Answers:

RE: I know this happens to some of us, what is your suggestion?
Didnt make it clear in other posting on swinger clubs/parties - we havent doen that yet - but one of our concerns would be this example - consider you are with a group of people, everyone says no mean no, but are you really going to embarass someone? Kinda like calling out rude people in real life - you know the parent being too rough disciplining their kid in the toy section or not at all, the ass who buts in a line - I know its not the same, but you feel a certain hesitation to not to say anything.

With one on ones or closed door private situations I think you can exercise more control and lay out the ground rules - if you are in open play someone is bound to jump in and do something you dont like.

RE: I know this happens to some of us, what is your suggestion?
I think anyone in the group should understand. If you don't say anything you could just get up and say excuse me and remove yourself from the situation.
Most experienced swingers will understand :)

RE: I know this happens to some of us, what is your suggestion?
This is alot different to us than someone cutting in a line. We are swingers not whores, we still have the decision as to who touches us or who we touch. Would definately tell them "Hey thats a no no." then when we are done playing with who we started out with would go and inform the host so the rude person can be informed of the rules. If nothing is done about the situation after informing the host would be the last time we attended a party there.

RE: I know this happens to some of us, what is your suggestion?
we have had that happen before at a cpl parties we have thrown and as suggested please tell the host about the rude person. we had to take a cpl aside as the male half wouldnt except the No means NO rule and told them both that if it happened again they will be asked to leave needless to say that cpl only stayed not even 30 mins longer at the party and was never asked to anymore.

Seems to happen no matter what setting it is even at clubs and the polite No or for that matter remove yourself from that area and take it a step farther and go tell that persons partner about it and have the partner keep control of the rude person.

Carol

RE: I know this happens to some of us, what is your suggestion?
We thinks its best to be forward, period. If that person is doing stuff discreetly while partners is there, whats he/she doing without the partner around?? We would not trust or feel comfortable around one like that and they would be asked to leave.

RE: I know this happens to some of us, what is your suggestion?
No means no...and if policies are not in place..this will happen time and time again. Open room or not, people should respect one another and play nicely together. One time is a warning and the second time is grounds to be escorted off the premises nicely. Rules are rules, but it also comes down to who is at the party and if you have a good handle on this or not. The problem with open parties is that you never really know who is there and what type of person they are. We started throwing parties on the East coast and developed a closed network of people who play well together..couples and singles. That is what we are shooting for here in San Diego as we speak.

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