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How Has Swinging Changed Your Relationship?

Question:

How Has Swinging Changed Your Relationship?

We often hear of the great many ways that swinging can change your relationship. We are curious to know how it has changed yours?

In what ways as your relationship changed... Please be honest this is a big move for us :p

Answers:

RE: How Has Swinging Changed Your Relationship?
We're pretty new, so take our advice with a grain of salt. Swinging is not for everyone... you need a strong foundation in your relationship and you need to BOTH be able to check your egos at the door. Jealousy, control, and possessiveness have no place in the swinging community. Folks with self-confidence issues or rocky marriages need not apply. Keep in mind that a rocky marriage is not the same as a marriage where you've become bored or fallen into a "rut." If your relationship is fundamentally stable, and you're truly to committed to your partner, we've found that it's radically transformed us in a very short period of time. It's made us much more attentive to each other's needs and feelings -- and I'm not talking just about the bedroom. It's also helped us communicate a lot more (which is conversely the key to a successful swinging experience.) And it's made our own sex life (i.e., when it's just the two of us) much more exciting and I find that we're much more excited about being with each other. Again, we're still fairly new but I would say that the experience thus far has been an overwhelming success. I love my wife more than anything (except our kids) and wouldn't have this any other way.

RE: How Has Swinging Changed Your Relationship?
Russ and I met as swingers so to speak, both had the same views on sex and being bisexual we entered the lifestyle, mostly to find a girlfriend to share, and live out some our fantasies, Together.
As yet we have not found her but have found so much more.
Great friends that share many of our views,
and yes we communicate...about everything...(the kids hate it , lol)
and we are more in tune with our own sexuality as well as that of our partners.
We have a marvelous sex life with and without our friends (with is so much fun, without is so much more intimate)
The ideas of Ozzie and Harriet, ( we're more like the Dysfunctional Brady Bunch. lmao)
Or Ricky and Lucy,
are a thing of the past
(Thank Goodness, I could never tolerate separate beds )
Swingers are a breed apart.
We don't fit into the conventional mold of what society terms "Normal" (again Thank Goodness)
As previously stated, "Swinging" is Not for everyone.
Nor is it a way to Fix any troubled relationship.
Personal issues have a way of coming to the surface. And We have seen many go their separate ways.
Trusting your partner and knowing where they will end up at night, no matter who they play with,
That's what makes this Lifestyle right for us.
I love the look of pleasure on his face, no matter who puts it there.
Huggs,
Karen

RE: How Has Swinging Changed Your Relationship?
The best advise I got was that swinging WILL change the relationship. If it is a step that both take to add to the relationship, as it has been in our relationship, its strengthened our communication. We explore how to to bring additional pleasure to our partner, while knowing that we are still looking out for each other. Peter and Amy

RE: How Has Swinging Changed Your Relationship?
Made us better listeners and exposed the sides we would never have thought - like my lady being bi and enjoying me sharing her girlfriends.

RE: How Has Swinging Changed Your Relationship?
We didn't start swinging to inhance or make our relationship better. For us, swinging is like going to the movies. You go, enjoy the evening, and then go home. Some couple live for it, looking to meet new people every weekend. Just not us. :)

RE: How Has Swinging Changed Your Relationship?
it has made our relationship stronger we know that we can talk about anything and just be honest with each other we have some friends that are not into this lifestyle and we tell them its not for everyone. we even have 1 cpl that are realy good friends and not in this lifestyle but seem to come to us for advise they say we have great a relationship and sometimes they wish they could be like us we tell them you don't have to be in this lifte to be open with each other but before we got into this we were just like them affraid to say what we were thinking our relationship has always been strong but this lifestyle has let us be more open and honest with each other. swinging is something we chose to do and keep it from our personal life but the things that we have done and learned from here and the people that we have talked to and meet from here , has only made us stronger and better for each other so i can't say swinging is good or bad for others but i can say with the people on here and the people that we have meet has only made this weird world we live in better for us and has made us stronger for each other

RE: How Has Swinging Changed Your Relationship?
My husband and I started adding extras about a year and a half into our relationship. Starting with a threesome with another girl that actually got started in a truth or dare situation. After that we loved it and wanted to explore more. After we married we had another wonderful expeirence with a girl I worked with. That lasted for a while and then life changed and we moved on. Many years down the road we had a bad experience with a girl and it changed my outlook on things. I didn't want to do it again and shut that part of my life out. But yet again, we had another join us. But this one was a guy. The other guy could't "function" so we got discurraged and got out of the lifestyle for a while. We got into a sexual slump. His motor was still running and I shut down. But we talked about trying it one more time a few months back. Discussions about going to on-premise parties or clubs were often part of foreplay. Then I started to get real courious and wanted to try the double guy thing agiain. We then decided one more try, if it didn't work then that was it, if it did then we would see where it would take us. We just celebrated 16 years of being together and married 14 of those years and wanted to do something wild. So we called upon some guys and after scanning who we thought would be right, we did it. I enjoyed myself! We have been giggling and talking and making love almost everynight since. Our communtication has gotten better and we feel so connected to each other. I am glad I didn't give up on it all together. I had a problem with "I'm mom and mom's don't do that" mentality that I lost who I was. I feel sexy, vibrant, and young. I now understand the hell I put my husband through all the while I was putting myself down. I know it's not for everyone but we enjoyed it so early into our relationship that it was a part of us. And I strongly feel there is no reason to deny pleasure to the both of us as long as we are both consenting and agree in things.

RE: How Has Swinging Changed Your Relationship?
I would agree..swinging is not for everyone and you MUST have an open mind and communication is key. For us, she has found a side of herself that was almost nonexistent, and very shy and inhibited. I was always more outgoing when I just got into the "the hell with what others think, im gonna be and make happy" for myself. When we decided to do this as a couple, of course there were and still are shy moments, but she is more vibrant, outgoing, happy and easier for her to express how she feels and what she likes in bed and such. And that alone has improved our own sex life dramatically. I love to see her pleased and sexually fullfilled even if I am not the one who is doing it for her. I'm always saying you can find pleasure that you didnt know existed in the most wild places. But yes, you must have a solid, rock steady relationship to begin with and swinging is not a fixit for bad marriages, bad sex, or troubled relationships. You must also be able to as another poster said, "check your ego at the door". I feel no jealousy at all when I see a man she thinks is attractive flirting with her, and she knows that I wont get mad at her reacting positively to it. It is a turn on for us, because at the end of the night, (or morning..lol) we know that we love each other more than anything, and we will be going home with our mate.

RE: How Has Swinging Changed Your Relationship?
All excellent comments and good for us newbies who are still getting our feet wet.

RE: How Has Swinging Changed Your Relationship?
We've always had a very strong rlationship. Not to say it hasn't had it's moments. That said, our relationship has gotten stronger. As a couple we are 100% committed and devoted to one another. We look at our swinging encunters as a side relish to a gourmet meal, bringing the spice and flavor out. As previous posters have said, you have to be able to hang your ego by the door, thre's no room for jealousy or envy.
Ric n Teri

RE: How Has Swinging Changed Your Relationship?
It has actually done wonders for our sex life. After we are through playing with the others and it is just the two of us, we talk about our thoughts of what had happened, get turned on even more by it and then devour each other ravenously. It has actually brought us closer.

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